As you all know we spent the week in wheelchairs to try to understand what Artie goes through. At first I found this ridiculous! I mean, how can you sing properly if you’re not standing up straight?! I have had many people compliment me and say that I sing like I have a pole up my butt. That’s exactly how you are supposed to sing in order to get the best breathing and projection — nice and straight!

In any case after a few hours I discovered that singing improperly is the least of your concerns when you use a wheelchair. I was getting scuffs on my knee-high socks from the wheels and I couldn’t see myself in the bathroom mirrors since they were too high on the wall! Then of course, I couldn’t reach my lunch tray and once I did, someone brushed past me and it flew in my face!

I really don’t know how Artie does it, and he’s so fortunate he doesn’t wear skirts or dresses because I am pretty sure my Hello Kitty underwear was seen by more than just a few members of the school cleaning crew and that “little person” whose locker is right next to the ladies restroom.

I am glad to give the chair back, but glad I had the chance to try it.

Bye for now,

Our school was recently closed for 2 weeks due to an H1N1 outbreak. Fortunately, I did not get the flu because I would not have been able to sing without coughing up 3 gallons of phlegm. We were all told to go practice on our own and I offered the other Glee club members pointers on individual practice.

The first rule of individual practice, is set a goal for each session. For example, sometimes my goal is to sing for 10 minutes without someone suggesting that I stop. I realize they don’t want me to damage my vocal chords which is why they want me to stop, but they’re just wrong. Occasionally I make it 10 minutes, but this is often only during the day when my dads and my neighbors are at work. I don’t count it when the neighbors dogs start barking. Other times, my goal is to sing and edit an entire MySpace karaoke video in one hour. You’d think this would be attainable since my flawless singing usually takes only one take. However, I usually spend at least 20 minutes trying to pick out the perfect headband for my videos.

The second rule of individual practice is not to just sing through the song straight through. No matter how satisfying it is to imagine being on stage during a full-blown Grammy performance, it’s better to pay attention to individual verses or phrases. I usually try to repeat each phrase in at least 10 different styles — often that of Ms. Dion, but frequently that of Idina Menzel, Bette Midler, Barbra Streisand, Patti Lupone, Aretha Franklin, and Nina Simone. Our cleaning lady particularly likes when I sing as Aretha or Nina because I often hear her say, “Ain’t nothing more entertain’ than a white girl singin’ Aretha!” as she scrubs my bathroom toilet.

The last rule of individual practice is to have fun! And so with that, I leave you until my next Glee update!

Kisses!

Every two weeks I get a vocal massage. I believe this helps me to sing the best I possibly can. In addition to drinking brine and lemon juice, I find that vocal massage provides the added benefit of relaxing my stress and reducing my gag reflex. There’s nothing worse than eating spaghetti and a wayward noodle forces you to semi-vomit right in front of everybody at the Olive Garden.

Usually my massage therapist will collect my $150 and put in the CD I bring with me that usually contains a mix of Broadway classics and my favorite Celine Dion songs. I find this is much better than the earthy sounds of crickets and waterfalls that she usually has playing. Have you ever tried to harmonize with a waterfall OR a cricket? It’s just not possible.

After I have positioned myself comfortably on the massage table, she usually focuses solely on the space between my breastbone and chin. Combining soft vibrating taps with wispy circles, she usually starts out lightly and by the time I am singing along at full volume with Celine, you’d swear she was trying to choke me, but she says the added pressure does a lot of good.

So that’s my vocal massage ritual! Now you know one of my secrets!

Au Revoir!